Our Kids

Subtitle: Everything I’ve learned about parenting came from America’s Funniest Home Videos.

I’ve recently become way too addicted to ABC’s America’s Funniest Home Videos. Thanks to Tivo I get a full hour of it everyday. While I haven’t actually watched every episode that Tivo has stored for me, sometimes it feels like I have.

The other day Mystique and I were talking about all the things we’ve learned about parenting (and I guess life in general) from watching this cheesy-at-times, but usually funny, show. I stole her idea and here it is:

• Never, under any circumstances, give your child a bat of any kind. This goes double for you dads… you know what they’ll hit.
• Sledding down snowy hills will turn into uncontrollable sledding downhill 80% of the time. 40% of the time you’ll manage to run down a member of your family. 40% of the time it will be a stranger. The final 20% of the time you’ll end up in a lake or a river.
• Pinatas are never a good idea. See #1.
• Never let your child pick how much bubble-making solution to use in their bath.
• Do not keep chocolate syrup in your house until your child is at least 16 years of age.
• Don’t even think about the Barbie Jeep or any sort of motorized mini-vehicle for your child. They’ll either run over your other child or manage to find walls, trees, or steep hills that you weren’t aware of.
• Trampolines are a recipe for disaster.
• Trampolines with basketball hoops nearby are certain disaster.
• Do not try jumping off a swing if you’re older than 16.
• Just don’t try swinging if you’re older than 16.
• Mantra at a zoo: Llamas spit.

That’s all I can think of for now…

jason

This morning, after a nice sleep-in until 6:30am (thank you girls), I got up to bring them their morning cup (bottle) of (soy) milk. As usual, the girls were standing up in the cribs, arms folded over the side walls, waiting for the door to open. I love walking in to that… they both look at you either with a big grin and squeel, or a cute sad face nd a wail. I’m not sure what determines the greeting, could be as simple as “poopy or not poopy”, or maybe as complex as “Piper dropped her blanket and stuffed animals on me and I wasn’t done sleeping.”

Anyhow… this morning it was the combo deal… Piper, though I’m sure happy to see me, didn’t give me much of a smile, but Lela did. I’ve gotten into the routine of getting Piper first, mainly because her crib is closest to the door, but also because she won’t (currently) scream at me when I put her down after changing her. It’s funny how there are just little things that you learn every day…

So I picked her up and she gave me a standard Piper bear hug… I love those hugs. But this morning, after only a small, five-second hug, she whipped around to face Lela, squeeked real loud and pointed her finger at her best friend.

Lela, watching us with her blue sport bottle of soy milk, flashed Piper her trademark big ol’ toothy grin, threw in a bonus Lela-chuckle, and pointed her finger back. Both of the girls had huge smiles on their face as I leaned Piper in so they could touch fingers and finish their “good morning sister, I love you.” And with that, they were ready for the day.

And so was I.