Our Kids

I have been reading bits and pieces here and there and something is trying to root in my mind and I am hoping that writing it down will help.  I read an article about how children don’t learn from what our parents try to teach us through books, talking, discipline etc., but children learn from what we do.  I know it sounds logical but it really isn’t.  For example, if you are married and in a relationship that is not so great but stable and you love your kids and things work, what they are really learning is that it is okay to settle and be in something that is not so great as long as things go along okay.  It really is a hard thing to get your head around as a parent.  This means that my kids are looking at me to see if I love ME as much as I love them, because if I don’t love me, then they won’t love themselves no matter how much I love them and/or tell them how special they are.

Sometimes I think as women we spend a lot of time giving and caring and we let ourselves slide in different ways, little ways.  I am not talking about our weight, or our hairstyle or whatever but our spiritual being our souls.  If I take all the love I have and I pour it into my kids, they are learning that they are loved but not how to love themselves.  In order for our kids to love themselves we have to show them that we love ourselves.  It really is a tall order and a bit daunting in my eyes but I signed up for it when I decided to become a parent, I just hope I am up for the task.